Honorific speech, nicknames and intimacy in Chinese culture
Recently I was asked by a Japanese acquaintance (who happened to be learning Chinese) as to how Chinese people distinguish levels of intimacity and politeness in oral speech. As you may know, in Japanese, you i) conjugate verbs and ii) use a different set of honorific nouns to show respect to your listener or reader (see this Wikipedia entry for details). But Chinese does not really conjugate verbs, and although a different set of honorific nouns can be used to show politeness, such nouns tend to be appear only in written form and almost never in oral speech. So how does the Chinese, with cultural concepts of insider group and outsider group similar to the Japanese, distinguish between formal speech and informal speech from a linguistic perspective? While I am far from having the complete answer to this, I believe the partial answer may be in the use of nicknames.
You just know that A is speaking to B in Chinese in familiar terms if a number of nouns of people, things, corporate entities and places are substituted with:
i) nicknames that only the speakers or their immediate circle knows
ii) nicknames made up on an impromptu basis
On the other hand, you just know that A and B are speaking formally if they use proper nouns that can be found in a dictionary.
Such nicknames tend to come out of the context of previous conversations or shared experiences, or humorously conjured up on the fly by deliberately mispronouncing one word or replacing one word out of whim. The same person within a group can have several nicknames, and sets of nicknames come in and out of fashion depending on the dynamics within that group. Take my workplace, for example. I work at the Hong Kong office of an American bank. At the top of our team, there is the Managing Director whom we all call lao ye [老爺] (a Chinese feudal term of address that is similar to “my lord” or “milord”). Next beneath him there are vice presidents whom we sometimes call gong zi [公子] (a Chinese feudal term of address similar to “sir”). And then there are associates like me who get called a lot of other different names depending on the mood of the speaker.
Of course there is the use of nin [您] which is similar to the French vous or German Sie, but while nin is still very much alive in written Chinese, its use in spoken language these days seems to be a matter of personal preference. I was once told that old-timers in Beijing would use nin to just about anyone they are not familiar with, but it seems to me that in everywhere else in China nin is optional and no offense is taken even if you use the familiar ni [你], which is similar to the French tu or German du.
Having said the above, I think I am beginning to understand why I have never enjoyed Chinese screenplay as much as I would have liked. The feeling I always get when I am watching Chinese movies or plays showing a conversation between two old friends is that they speak like strangers. If the two old friends had really known each other for many years as the scripts says, they really ought to be using a lot more nicknames for people and things when they talk to each other. I suppose that is the challenge of Chinese screenwriters to keep the insider conversation intelligible to the audience.
Intimacy in Chinese culture is like Chinese boxes. You never know for sure if you are considered to be “in” a group, or if you are already “in” a group, how far “in” you actually are.
This is quite news to me. When I read Chinese stuff (either real Chinese text translated or a fiction work written by a Westerner), people are often designated by honorific titles (e.g. honorable Mr. Li), and we get the impression that everybody speaks that way in China…
Does what you talk about somewhat relate with the Japanese habit of calling people by their function (mom, chief, teacher, etc.) instead of their names ?
What happens when two people of equal status (for example in a competition between two sport clubs) meet for the first time ?
BTW, I think the fact you have to login before posting discourages 90% of potential commentators…
Snoop:
I wonder. What historical or social context did your example of “honorable Mr Li.” appear? There used to be equivalents of “honorable Mr” in pre-modern China, like gong zi [公子] or da ren [大人], and “honorable Mr Li” would be li gong zi [李公子] or li da ren [李大人]. But these are not used these days except in jest.
But speaking of how people call each other, I have observed a trend among Chinese businesspersons that they “assume” an English name as part of their business identity and reserve their Chinese names for use among family and old friends. You never really call them “Financial Chief Chan” or something like that, you just call them by their English names, like “Bob” or “Phil”. It is like having two layers of identity – like sectioning off one’s public and private self. When two CFOs from the PRC meet each other, for example, they would most likely be addressing each other with English names even though they converse in Putonghua/Mandarin the entire time. I rarely saw anything like that from Japanese businesspersons.
I was experimenting with how to get less spam messages. I have turned the login requirement off now…
Recently experienced an example of Chinese vs. English names as markers of social distance- An ex dumped me for a Chinese girl who recently immigrated to the U.S. The ex calls her by her Chinese name, she uses a “cute,” abbreviated version of her English name when speaking with him, and gave her regular English name as the one I should use. Even without the ex telling me his new girlfriend thinks of me a threat, it was easy to see the dynamics.
It seems to be pretty common amongst my transplant friends, for them to give their westernized names first, then gradually using their birth-given names after becoming closer to new friends.
B:
Yes, that sounds like a good example of what I meant.
My impression is that Chinese works in ways which are closer to English than Japanese, especially socially. It might not be hard to distinguish intimacy from formality, but it is difficult to establish the actual social relationship beneath the use of formalities or lack of thereof.
Old business acquaintainces might sound much more socially intimate than they really are, because friendships are an importance basis for business transactions. Friends might sound more formal than they really are, if one or both of them are extremely polite or gentlemenly people.
This is especially true in old films, or Chinese jidai-geki (ancient costumes dramas), where social ettiquette is much more developed and prevalent. It is impossible to know how close people really are, unless you take into account their body language, tone of voice, setting & etc.
Just my two cents worth. I’m Chinese but not native, so I do not know what the social trends are like in China. My personal view is that people tend to sound a lot closer than they really are.
Winged Feet:
Noted with thanks.